Friday, September 30, 2011

Sitting in my puddle

There comes a point at which we having nothing left to try but God.  The day, week, month, maybe even the year, has not gone as planned.  Jobs lost, friendships damaged, children sick, finances looming, everywhere we turn it feels like there is another hurdle to overcome.We ask ourselves why is nothing easy?

 I hate these times, I hate feeling powerless and overwhelmed, not knowing our next move. But I have come to see there is a blessing in them.  It is these times when we rely most on the Lord.  It is often only in our desperation that we completely lie before him and ask him to fix it - whatever it takes.  I find that up until this point my prayers are usually more like suggestions to God about the best way to fix it or I am so frustrated with God (or even embarrassed) that I just don't pray at all. I often will cling to Isaiah 55:8, "'For my thought are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways' declares the Lord." I also remember that He promises when we are weakest He will be strong.   

Sometimes I think God allows me to "sit in my puddle" until I am really ready to listen to Him.  Ready to bend my will to His and take things one day (sometimes one minute) at a time. In fact, in my life He has rarely, if ever, let me see more than one step at a time.  What is the next decision, next conversation, next move? Not what could happen a mile down the road.

He always gets me where I need to be, but one small step at a time.